Every day, I hear at least three clients singing the same, “Why-haven’t-I-found-the-one?” blues. If you’re one of these people who keep asking that same burning question, and if you’re beginning to sense that you might be going about this whole finding-true-love thing the wrong way, then please carefully read the following top ten reasons why you haven’t won the love lotto, and do some deep inner searching to see whether you’re sabotaging your ability to find and keep a Soul Mate love.
1)You say that you want love, but you don’t do anything to find it. You tell yourself, if it’s meant to be, love will find you. Manifesting a Soul Mate is no different than finding a job. We all know that if we want to find a job, we can’t just sit around on the couch all day watching TV and think that a job is going to come find us. We know that we have to look in different places to find a job, then we have to send out a resume or apply for the job, and we have to show up for an interview. So, if you really want love, then get off the couch and start doing something to find love. You can sign up for an online dating site, or sign up for a class where you can meet some new friends and through these friends meet a mate. Just get out of your comfort zone and go to new places, talk to people on the line next to you or on the train, join a meet-up group, and get yourself out there. The universe can’t airdrop your lover into your living room, so stop saying, “If it’s meant to be, then love will find me.”
2) You always go for the same type. He or she has to look a certain way, be the right size, shape, color or you won’t even consider this person. Well, how has that worked out for you? Soul Mates come in all kinds of packages, so stop questioning the package.
3) You haven’t let go of the hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and pain from your past relationship(s).You haven’t let go of the hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and pain from your past relationship( Please, put on your big girl panties or your big boy pants and move on from the past. Life sucks sometimes. We all get our hearts broken. Get over it and get on with your life. Whatever you do, stop making every new person in your life pay the price for whatever heart breaks you’ve experienced in the past.
4) You have commitment issues. I can just hear most of you saying right now, “It isn’t me who has commitment issues. It’s everybody else.” Well, think again. If you keep chasing after people who tell you that they’re not looking for commitment, but you think you can change them, give up on that notion. Believe what people say. If you always seem to fall for unavailable people: an emotionally distant person, a person who lives a gazillion miles away, or a person already involved with someone else, then know that these are pretty reliable indicators that you have unresolved commitment issues.
5) You keep making the same mistakes in every relationship. Stop with the whole “groundhog day,” scenario. Go to therapy. Read some self-help books. Do some inner searching. Why do you keep chasing after people who have the same issues? Could it be that you’re still re-living your parents’ nightmarish relationship, because subconsciously you’re still trying to prove that you could fix mommy or daddy? Deal with your childhood issues already.
6) You keep picking people who need fixing, because you’re a fixer. By now, you must have figured out that you can’t fix people. They have to fix themselves. Do some deep soul searching as to why everyone you date seems to be addicted to something or other, or have rage issues, or has some kind of mental illness. Examine why you always ignore the early warning signs telling you that this person is going to be nothing but trouble.
7) Your thoughts, words, and action reflect a negative mindset. If you keep saying, “All men suck,” or “women are all screwed up,” then the universe will just keep on bringing you people who suck or who are screwed up. Watch your thoughts, words, and deeds. Nobody wants to be near a whiner, complainer, or a person who plays victim all the time. Go out in the world and put on your happy face!
8) You think you’re too old to find love. Who says love is only for the young? People are living longer and longer, and the greatest love affairs are happening to older people who have made mistakes and learned from them and mustered up the courage to get back out there and give love another shot.
9) You play the game of blemish and look for reasons why a person isn’t right for you, or you obsess about all your own flaws and why no one could ever love you. Or, you say things like, “Before I can be in a relationship I need to lose weight, get a better job, blah, blah, blah, but you never actually do any of the things you say you need to do.
10) You haven’t done your own inner homework and worked on healing your own issues. Heal yourself and come to that place of self-love, and you’ll be surprised how quickly love will manifest in your life.
Love truly does come to those who seek it, believe in it, and cherish it. Godspeed in your journey toward a higher love!
Cindi Sansone-Braff, The Romance Whisperer, talks to the dead to show you how to live well and love better. She is the author of Grant Me a Higher Love and Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships. Free excerpts of these books are available on Amazon. Call-in or listen every Thursday night, 7:00 pm EST, to her radio show, where you can get free psychic and relationship advice: www.blogtalkradio.com/higher-love. Be sure to check out her web site at: www.grantmeahigherlove.com. She was named Best Psychic five years in a row by the Long Island Press, recommended by Newsday as one of the best psychic/mediums on Long Island, featured in the Daily News and Cablevision’s Neighborhood Journal. Visit her Facebook Page: Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships.